The Pursuit of Regret Free Life

A person grows every year, month, week, and day, yet there are few birthdays that are milestones. Turning 25 is one such milestone and I don't understand why. I turned 25 on Sunday and there is no difference from Saturday to Monday. Yet, when I look back at the 25 years of my existence, I am awed at how far I came. The ups and downs aside, I have met so many amazing people who have made a vast difference in my life. I have achieved a lot and I continue to grow.

I am learning new things about myself every day and I am enjoying it. I am scared of so many things yet I still do it. The biggest lesson I have learned in all these years is to live life in the moment. It is never about the past or the future, always about the present. You are alive and well today, that is all that matters. The experiences that I had so far made me introspect and question my choices in life. 

Happy? Fulfilling? Rich? Famous? No. I want a satisfying life. Be it job, partner, financials, or personal, I want to own the decision. I could be wrong but I want to make and own them. For the last 4-5 years, I have lived by words conceived by myself - Never regret what you do, never do what you will regret. There is no simpler way to live life than this. The decision might be complicated, and the reality may be irrational, but once it is done, it's done. 

When I was 15, I set a goal for myself to achieve when I turn 25. Not only did I not achieve it, but I am also far from it. I am not even sure if I want to achieve it anymore and that is fine with me. But the months leading up to my birthday, I kept feeling the dread of a deadline approaching. It was not at all comforting to feel that way.

I decided to come up with a new list of things I want to do. One of which was a trip to Goa. The plan failed even before finalizing it. Sometimes, I want things but I come up with so many excuses to not do them. While those excuses might be trivial to people, they mean something to me. I changed plans to travel to Gokarna instead of Goa. After all, what is life, if not compromise. But as luck may have it, even my Gokarna plan got canceled twice. Finally, in the days leading up to my birthday, I wanted to fulfill my wishlist and celebrate the 25th in my way. So, I booked a trip with PTU and started my journey to fulfill my wishlist before 25. It was the best decision ever. 

This was my first solo trip, outside of business travels, with strangers. I was not at all anxious and was pretty excited for the next two days. Looking back, it was the perfect weekend of my life. Describing the whole trip would need more than one blog post, but I had so much fun.

I was not worried about anything at all. It was so peaceful that I did not care how much my body hurt. All I wanted to do was explore to the fullest like it was the last chance I had. I wanted every minute to count and never once did I come up with an excuse to not do anything. 

Playing in the deep ocean or sunbathing on the sand or walking alone on the trails or sleeping on the beach in the tent, I did it all. I went with the flow, no regrets. I am a person who can drown even while wearing a life jacket. Yet, that did not stop me from leaving the safety of the rocks to go towards the deeper end of the waterfalls. I met amazing people whose stories were so different from mine. We were all there for those two days enjoying the company of each other. 

This is the epiphany I had on my 25th birthday. Classic. This is why milestones are important. My birthday weekend trip made me realize what I want in my life and how I want to live it. I want to live it the Gokarna way. No, I don't mean living on the beach forever. Although that is not such a bad idea. I want to live a life where I am satisfied with myself and with the decisions I make. A no-regret life.

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